Community

Without Chevy Chase

Courtesy of Two Average Gamers

My wife and I have a different way of viewing and dealing with life's everyday challenges. For example, normally I cycle with my daughter most mornings to drop her off at school on the way to my office, but occasionally I have something else to do - pick up a prescription before work, go to an early morning meeting, something like that. My first thought is always "how will I do this alone?" How will I manage to fit all these things into the same timeframe, some of which would require me to physically be in two or more places at once, without causing me burnout or stress? (Usually a fool's errand) My wife's first thought is always "who can I contact for help?" This is when she will pull out her phone, WhatsApp a multitude of people, handle multiple conversations back and forth, and somehow organise some kind of lift share or other person to assist.

My thought patterns are centred towards solving problems alone, assuming that I'm the only one I can rely on. Discovering I'm neurodivergent, growing up with a small family, only a few friends and occupying myself, I suppose this psychology and evolution of my personality makes sense. My wife, who grew up in a small village and who's parents ran a small bed and breakfast, was used to seeing all kinds of people around her home and family, all willing to lend a helping hand to each other. She grew up surrounded by people who would look out for her, and she would do the same in return.

Do you see the difference yet? That's right - community!

This is a word I've struggled to fully understand, I've realised, for most of my life. For someone who often seeks solitude, yet can also ironically feel lonely, "community" is a strange concept to me. How do you find this "community" that you speak of? How do you feel like you belong somewhere?

It turns out I've found one, purely by accident, and that sense of belonging is a genuine feeling I now possess, the strongest I've felt for many years. And now, on the anniversary of my Substack, it is time to explain what "community" really means.

I cannot remember the exact impetus, but over a year ago I had this urge to start writing things down. Perhaps it was because I was starting to occasionally journal my days and, more importantly, write down all my pesky, negative feelings to try and resolve them. It felt like too many thoughts were crammed into my head with no release valve, yet putting pen to paper (very old fashioned, and with awful handwriting) allowed them to escape. My head was finally clear and I felt I had achieved something, no matter how trivial.

After a while I felt like I needed to do more than just describe my less than exciting day and psychoanalyse myself, I needed to write something fun instead. However, I'm not A Writer™, just an ordinary person with a few geeky interests. Still, the idea of writing as a hobby started to feel more appealing - for starters, it's cheap and you can do it practically anywhere. That's when I resolved to consider starting something like a blog again; I had written one many years ago about computer programming, but that was because I was told that's what everyone does, not because I wanted to, so it fizzled out. What actually interests me? Ah yes, video games!

So I started writing topics down, started drafting what would become my first posts - this one, actually, was the very first I wrote, though not the first published:

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - My Review

Yet I didn't have anywhere for them to go yet, and setting up a blog sounded like too much work. I was quite happy just writing for myself and not needing an audience. I didn't crave any attention. I was simply happy that I could practice expressing my real thoughts about what captured my interest.

While this was happening, I stumbled across Substack - have you heard of it? It seemed a bit unusual and hard to understand at first, though I learned one important key point quickly - people would write long posts, write articles and newsletters. If there is one thing I hate about social media, it is constant short-form "content". I don't want to read mere sentences or watch short videos, I want to read and absorb information at a leisurely pace, and I want to engage my brain and think - none of that seems possible on social media, except here it seems, where I can spend a good 10-15 minutes reading a single post.

The more I looked around Substack, the more I gradually noticed some other people writing about things I enjoy, specifically gaming - and I did all this without a dedicated "Gaming" category, thanks a lot Substack! Then I finally plucked up the courage to do the same. And here we are a year later, with around 30 posts published and some people who appear to read them.

The best part? I commented on other people's posts, and they replied back. The feeling of talking to people about what you love, recognising the same people coming back to talk and discuss more, and it keep going and snowballing, has resulted in me being the happiest I've felt about myself in many years. It's finally happened - I've found a community.

What does this community look like? Well...

It started because I found Margot as one of the first game-related writers here. She talks about lots of indie games, and her posts were what inspired me to start writing my own. Her taste in games led to Sey, who is the most enthusiastic gamer I’ve ever met, who also runs Good Game Lobby, a Discord server of gamers from all over the world. Thanks to them tolerating accepting me, I get to talk to so many other like minded people, like Oya, Luna, the musically inclined Christena Maurer and the scholarly Evan C. Moore.

Though that takes me away from Substack, which I also spend a lot of time on now - though not an unhealthy amount of time, thankfully. When I want to read a good thought piece on gaming history, I’ll of course turn to Chris (90s and 00s nostalgia) or Dylan Cornelius. When I want to hear about the current day, there is always Katya Ryabova, Joe | The Saved Game, JM Mendez, The Game Enjoyer. If I’m feeling nostalgic, then degonyte will have me covered.

And like I said previously, sometimes I just want to go deep and think. Luckily, I can always turn to M. Campassi, The Video Game Storyteller or Lawrence 'Scanlines' Lichfield, who absolutely love making me think long after reading. Then again, sometimes I just want to see how video games have enriched other people’s lives, like ROP who journals his game playing along with his son for bonding, or Pixels who enjoys games with a lighter touch just to relax. And sometimes I just want hard-hitting, uncompromising opinions, like what Cat, Felix Roth or Trip Harrison will offer.

Lest I forget, Substack also helped reunite me with family. Yes, that’s right! For without Substack, I would never have found my long-lost Sonic-twin Amy J, or my long lost Sega-cousin Joe Douglas (who’s book, The History of Sega, I bought, read and loved).

These people all write about their personal experiences with gaming, but what of world events? I’ve found I’ve given up mostly on traditional gaming news websites - too many adverts, cookies, videos blocking the words, and articles that could be summed up in the headline. How do I stay up to date then? No problem there, since dedicated people like Alex Stasenko and Alex Antra do all the hard work and sum up everything that’s happening out there, explaining to me in very simple terms (and no popups). Real gaming journalists like Stephen Totilo and Harrison Polites carry on the tradition as I remember it of delivering “real news” - you know, news that doesn’t try to grab your attention or is filled with SEO nonsense, actual journalism. And to understand how the games industry really works, I can learn why business decisions are made with the analytical SuperJoost and the Sage of Wisdom Sebastian Cardoso.

Finally, were you aware I have other interests apart from playing, thinking and writing about video games? That’s why I follow many other people too, all also giving their unique perspective to the world. Robert Walrod has written a mini-series/retrospective about the director Robert Altman, spanning many months. I have never seen any of his films, yet I was riveted by every word and looked forward to each new part. The same with Georgia who has written a short fiction in many parts, written in the form of letter correspondence set in the late 1800’s. Who would have thought I would be so impatient to learn what happens next each week? Yet I am! Or Jen Talks Telly, Film, Music or Becky Handley (she/they), who always interest me with their experiences and viewpoints. Leading to my other passion - animation - where Animation Obsessive Staff regale me with wonderful articles of animation from all around the world.

That’s not even everyone! (Did you also notice how hard I tried not to make this a typical listicle?) My point is that this all happened over the space of a year, gradually and surely, leading to a diverse group of people I respect, recognise, talk to, maybe even call some of them friends. It has made me feel engaged with people in a way I’ve never felt before. And it makes me want to continue.

To the next year of Late to the LAN Party. Thanks.